Soul Realignments, Realignments, Healings Perth, Best Healer Perth, Akashic Records Reader Perth

Carla's Realignments

Find out what your Soul's Records say about you.

Carla's Blog

Carla's Blog

How do you know your boundaries have been violated?

Posted on September 8, 2019 at 11:45 PM

Do you struggle to speak up or stand up for yourself? Are you always trying to accommodate other’s needs neglecting your own? Do you feel guilty saying No to people? Are you always seeking approval from others? Do you tolerate any type of behaviours towards you? Are you always giving only to become resentful when you get nothing in return? If you said Yes to most of these questions it’s safe to assume that you don’t have defined clear boundaries.


Often we don’t realize when our boundaries have been crossed until it’s too late. The first sign is feeling hurt. Some people who’ve ignored their emotions for so long bypass the hurt and jump straight into Anger. There’s also certain boundaries for us that are should not do’s and absolute must never do’s. There’s a certain degree to what’s sort of acceptable and what totally isn’t accept. Let me give you an example of each of these.


A husband comes home late. A wife may feel fear uncomfortable, but is this enough for her to blow the lid? That really depends on whether the Wife has issues around abandonment or trust. A Wife who is confident and independent may not take notice as she knows herself worth and accepts that this could be a rare occasion or would say something immediately if there was a concern. Now what if he continues to do this. The build-up of emotions around abandonment over time may get heightened and the discomfort would make the Wife want to speak up. She believes she “shouldn’t” be left alone.


Now let’s go one step further what if the Wife finds out her husband is cheating on her? This might be an absolute “MUST NOT DO” boundary for her. If he cheats she has Vowed that this would be the end of the relationship. Here is where things get complicated. If she doesn’t listen to her personal boundaries in this situation she could stretch her own boundary of “Must not do” to “Should not do” and stay with her husband. In essence she’s abandoning herself and her own emotions. Even if they work it out, the trigger is there and next time he comes home late she will bypass the hurt and jump straight to Rage.


But let’s not vilify the Husband here, what if this Man grew up without intimacy within his family and every time his wife withdraws intimacy from him he feels hurt. A personal boundary of his has been violated. Which could possibly be a “Must never do” for him. Yet he didn’t say anything and simply chose to find intimacy elsewhere. Either way none of these scenarios are OK. The most crucial piece of information in each of these cases have been missed! The individual’s FEELINGS!!


Your emotions are your internal guidance system. We have evolved with this incredible internal tool that triggers us to look within. A feeling of hurt will warn you immediately that one of your personal boundaries has been violated. It’s you job then to go internally and find out which boundary it was. It’s a beautifully designed way of consciousness teaching us to become more self-aware. Other people are merely the trigger to an emotion, bringing an emotion to the surface in order to be healed.


Here’s how to tackle this. When an emotion comes up for you Firstly ask yourself What am I feeling right now? Try to come up with only 1 word such as abandonment, rejected, devalued. Don’t get carried away JUST ONE WORD! Then ask yourself when was the very first time I felt this feeling? Go back to the very first time in your childhood when you experienced this feeling, trace it all the way back. Then ask yourself What did I do to cope in this situation? Did you cry, quietly withdraw, get mad….. once you have that sit with that for a moment and see the patterns you may be still running and how they have been working for you. Lastly with this new found knowledge of yourself if it’s working well for you and you are getting exactly what you want then there’s no need to change, but if you are reading this it’s safe to assume you are NOT getting what you want and your boundaries are not being acknowledged in this situation. Brainstorm what you would like to see happen, in the specific situation where your boundary was violated, instead and articulate it to the other person or yourself. So that next time you are faced with this situation you can immediately pick up which boundary of yours has been violated and do something about it before it gets out of control.


Another little thing you can do is make a comprehensive list for yourself on your Must nots and Should nots and address each part of your life. With a piece of paper make 5 columns one for Relationships, One for Work, One for Family, one for friends, one for life in general and anything else you may like to explore your boundaries around. Then in each column divide it in half and make the one for shoulds and the other for musts. For example in Relationships under the shoulds section you could write in a relationship we should both do the dishes, we should both take turns in changing the nappies … Then under the musts you can have In a relationship my partner must never cheat, must never hit me or the children. So you understand exactly when you have a boundary that’s been stepped on when an emotional trigger comes up you could easily turn to this list and see which one was activated.

By Carla Savannah

Categories: Self Development

Post a Comment

Oops!

Oops, you forgot something.

Oops!

The words you entered did not match the given text. Please try again.

11 Comments

Reply golden goose
3:29 AM on August 7, 2020 
I together with my friends have been checking out the great suggestions from your site then all of the sudden I got a terrible suspicion I had not expressed respect to the site owner for those strategies. Those men ended up certainly excited to read through all of them and have undoubtedly been taking advantage of those things. Thanks for being simply accommodating and then for picking this sort of very good ideas most people are really wanting to understand about. My honest apologies for not saying thanks to you earlier.
golden goose http://www.goldengooseofficial.com
Reply yeezy shoes
2:35 PM on August 4, 2020 
I simply wanted to write a small message in order to express gratitude to you for these marvelous facts you are sharing at this site. My prolonged internet search has finally been recognized with professional content to exchange with my colleagues. I would declare that most of us visitors are quite blessed to live in a good network with many perfect people with useful concepts. I feel truly lucky to have encountered your webpage and look forward to so many more thrilling moments reading here. Thank you once more for a lot of things.
yeezy shoes http://www.shoesyeezy.us
Reply supreme outlet
2:26 PM on August 1, 2020 
My husband and i ended up being now joyous that Chris managed to finish off his investigation because of the precious recommendations he received out of the weblog. It is now and again perplexing to just always be giving out tips and hints which usually others could have been trying to sell. We really understand we need the website owner to be grateful to because of that. The specific illustrations you have made, the straightforward website navigation, the friendships your site help instill - it's everything awesome, and it's helping our son and us know that that concept is pleasurable, which is pretty indispensable. Many thanks for all the pieces!
supreme outlet http://www.supremesoutlet.us.com
Reply moncler outlet
3:09 PM on July 29, 2020 
I simply desired to thank you so much once again. I do not know what I might have accomplished without the entire advice provided by you over such subject. Previously it was the daunting dilemma in my circumstances, however , viewing your well-written fashion you handled it made me to weep with gladness. Now i'm thankful for this information and in addition sincerely hope you know what an amazing job that you are doing training many people through the use of a site. I know that you haven't got to know all of us.
moncler outlet http://www.monclers.us.org
Reply yeezy boost 700
5:09 PM on July 26, 2020 
Thanks a lot for giving everyone a very wonderful possiblity to check tips from this site. It's always so enjoyable and full of a good time for me personally and my office acquaintances to visit your site no less than thrice in one week to read through the new secrets you have. And lastly, I am actually motivated for the tremendous information served by you. Certain 1 areas on this page are definitely the very best I have ever had.
yeezy boost 700 http://www.yeezy700.us.com
Reply supreme hoodie
2:41 PM on July 23, 2020 
I wanted to draft you the little note in order to give many thanks the moment again relating to the incredible suggestions you've discussed here. It has been simply remarkably generous with people like you to convey without restraint just what many individuals could have offered for an electronic book to help make some bucks on their own, even more so seeing that you might well have tried it in case you considered necessary. The techniques also acted to become easy way to be aware that someone else have similar keenness similar to my own to find out a whole lot more regarding this condition. I know there are numerous more fun moments in the future for individuals that read through your blog.
supreme hoodie http://www.supremeclothings.us.com
Reply nike epic react
7:48 AM on July 20, 2020 
I not to mention my buddies appeared to be viewing the great tips from your site while the sudden came up with an awful suspicion I never expressed respect to you for those strategies. All the men were absolutely thrilled to see all of them and have pretty much been having fun with them. Many thanks for really being simply considerate and also for finding some fabulous subjects most people are really desirous to know about. My very own honest regret for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.
nike epic react http://www.nikereact.org
Reply yeezy
3:23 PM on July 16, 2020 
Thanks so much for providing individuals with a very superb opportunity to read from this blog. It can be so kind and also jam-packed with a good time for me personally and my office fellow workers to search your web site at the least thrice in one week to see the newest secrets you have got. And lastly, we are certainly amazed considering the beautiful information served by you. Some 3 areas in this post are in reality the most effective I have had.
yeezy http://www.yeezy-shoes.us.org
Reply ferragamo belt
2:14 PM on July 13, 2020 
I happen to be writing to let you understand of the wonderful discovery my friend's princess enjoyed reading the blog. She discovered a wide variety of pieces, not to mention how it is like to possess an excellent giving nature to make the mediocre ones clearly completely grasp chosen specialized topics. You truly surpassed our expectations. Thank you for producing these necessary, healthy, edifying and even unique guidance on your topic to Tanya.
ferragamo belt http://www.ferragamobelt.us.org
Reply efyetigaxoqa
10:15 PM on March 16, 2020 
http://mewkid.net/when-is-xaxlop/ - Amoxicillin Without Prescription Amoxicillin Online zbr.xhzb.calmandstrong.net.xvc.dx http://mewkid.net/when-is-xaxlop/
Reply unugewavu
1:00 PM on March 13, 2020 
With ftq.zlli.ampsolutionsadministratives.com.hul.bf single, divides [URL=http://mannycartoon.com/item/acivir-cream/ - acivir cream best price[/URL - acivir cream for sale overnight [URL=http://salamanderscience.com/synclar-500/ - order synclar 500[/URL - [URL=http://freemonthlycalender.com/tadalafil-super-active/ - tadalafil super active without prescription[/URL - [URL=http://a1sewcraft.com/lasix-no-prescription/ - buy lasix online[/URL - [URL=http://biblebaptistny.org/item/pexep/ - pexep for sale[/URL - prophylaxis acivir cream synclar 500 price of tadalafil super active lasix pexep prices walmart pexep price tricyclic http://mannycartoon.com/item/acivir-cream/ buy acivir cream online canada http://salamanderscience.com/synclar-500/ order synclar 500 http://freemonthlycalender.com/tadalafil-super-active/ price of tadalafil super active http://a1sewcraft.com/lasix-no-prescription/ lasix http://biblebaptistny.org/item/pexep/ pexep mythic, exploration.